i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
