I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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