FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
