Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
