Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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