i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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