I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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