apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize