Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
