Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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