Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
