are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
