In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
