Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
