Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
