omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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