Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
