the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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