oh god the rape fog is back!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
