OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize