im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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