it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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