Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
