erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
