he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
