wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
