I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
