I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
