I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love you. Go after that dick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
