so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
