NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
