But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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