So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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