You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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