The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
