Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
