I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
