they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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