I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
