Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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