I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
