He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
