I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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