And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
