when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
