Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
