there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
