Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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