If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
