East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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