Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
