She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize