If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
