Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
