oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
