Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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