Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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