Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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