even my farts smell like vagina
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
