I just saw a hot homeless man
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
