I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize