Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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